All is going according to plan, MUAHAHAHA!

I want to detail my previously-mentioned plan.

On normal days, my maximum caloric allowance will be 1500. This is what my dietitian feels I should consume for weight loss. Although I want to lower this (significantly!), I have a long row to hoe here, and I reeeeeally don't want to crash out my metabolism early in the race.

Prior to anything I deem a "special occasion", I will restrict. This will begin with one week of keeping things to 1200 calories per day. 1200 is considered the minimum required by a normal adult to meet nutritional needs. At 1200 per day, I get hungry between meals but not light-headed.

For the week before the occasion, I will step things down. 1000 for two days, 800 for three, and a final push of 500 calories for the last two. I've never consciously restricted to below 800 before. I'm curious to see how it goes. I'm wondering how I'll be able to skate it around my husband, since I basically won't be able to eat anything significant in front of him.

All of this, so that on said "special occasion" I will be able to eat how I please. No rules, baby! Now, special occasions involve other people, so I won't be able to flat-out binge, but if I want to have six cookies, by god I fucking will.

Post-occasion, I will step things up 100 cals per day for a week. 500, 600, 700, 800, 900, 1000, 1100. One week of 1200. Then back to my "normal" allowance.

Certain foods are strictly verboten outside of special occasions. No cheese, no rich sweets, no fried foods, no fast food of any kind. Free foods are 10 calories or less per serving (gum, crystal light packets, that sort of thing).

I will aim to exercise for 30 minutes or more five days per week.

I will not weigh myself. Period. It gets waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of hand; I end up weighing myself every time I go into the bathroom when I am dieting. Because my crazy pills have an outside chance of destroying my liver, I go to the doctor fairly frequently. I'll go by what they say. Doctor's office scales are much crueler anyway.

How shall I know if things are working? I have a coat. THE COAT. I actually won said coat in a prize drawing from Lucky magazine. The coat has been mine for six years now. It's gorgeous. Grey-green suede with a shearling lining. I've worn it ONCE because my ginormous hips won't allow the bottom buttons to button.

Isn't ednos grand? All the joy of anorexia, but you don't really lose any weight. I binge, purge, restrict, and hate myself, but since nothing but the hate is consistent, I'm still fat. Fuck.

Finally, all meds must be taken (let's try to avoid the major crazy times, shall we? also, some of my prescriptions should, theoretically, help me shrink) and work and school shall not be skipped.

Today is the first day of my super-restricto week, with Christmas Eve and Christmas Day being special occasions. 1000 allowed today.

So far I've eaten:
3/4 cup shredded mini wheats (not frosted) 100
3/8 cup chocolate soymilk (I gave up frosted mini-wheats to justify using chocolate milk on my cereal) 50
Clementine 35

My idea is to have five roughly 200 calorie meals sprinkled throughout my day.

I'm going to spending a lot of time online today, since the White Death has blanketed Cincinnati and I have nothing to do and no reason to go anywhere. Until Husband gets home, I'll play video games, make a few phone calls, exercise, and fill in my nails (grown out acrylics= GHETTO!). Hit me up on AIM if you want, Lacey Lyndhurst.