Recipeeeee!

So, the heat index here in Cincinnate has been around 100 degrees. Yech. Here's something to cool you off.

Frozen strawberry lemonade!!!

Makes 1 LARGE serving

1 cup frozen strawberries

Juice from one lemon (or lime, if you're feeling saucy)

2 packets splenda, or your preferred non-caloric sweetener

Total cals: 60

Put everything in the blender, add enough water to cover, and frappe until smooth. Mmmmmm!

Reflection is Motivation

Wowzers! I dropped this blog for the longest time, and then a little bit of posting and BLAMMO! New readers. Thanks, guys!

I have one final left before being off school for the Summer, so I promise to be more interesting here shortly. I'm getting back into the right headspace for some HUNGER, and this blog is a big part of that.

So, last weeks progress was moderate. I lost 1lb. I weigh every morning, and at one point I was actually at my 3lb goal. However, the weekend was filled with various kinds of revelry so as of Sunday morning (official weigh-in day) I was pretty bloated. Back on track now, though. Hopefully I can make up the difference.

So who watches the skinnies when they're out and about? I went to Meijer, my regular grocery store today. Usually, it's a regular People of Wal-Mart experience. Today, however, there was an obvious ana walking in at the same time I was. I suppose she could have been sick (not that this isn't sickness, but you know, regular sick), or had some kind of ungodly high metabolism, but I'm pretty sure she was a starver. Maybe thirty years old, she was dressed in a green sleeveless shirt, brown linen capris, and had on these AWESOME high wedge sandals with ribbons around the ankle. I could see the projection of her hipbones through her clothes and I could probably have circled her thighs by making a circle with my hands thumb to thumb and middle finger to middle finger. I could see her sternum and ribs in the scoop neckline of her shirt.

Curious about what she would put in her cart, I tried to follow her surreptitiously. We were in produce (of course!) and I saw her pick up some pre-sliced watermelon and some ready shredded cabbage, the kind you use for coleslaw. Unfortunately, I lost her after produce.

I feel kind of bad about watching her. Who wants to be treated like a creature in a zoo? One the flip side, isn't that what she wants? To be noticed for her thinness? She certainly wasn't dressing to hide it. That's what I want. I've been fat all my life. I want to walk in to family gatherings and shock people. I want to go to parties and bars and turn peoples' heads.

I know, I know. Starving will only make me sick, not beautiful. Did I say I was going for beauty? No, I'm just going for skinny. My compulsive over-eating has already done enough damage to my body that I know I'll never be that kind of beautiful, bikini beautiful. I'm just tired of being invisible.

Gothy Girl

Here, have some thinspo!

Beautifully pale. Slender legs. Tendons in neck. Love it!

Where It's At

Goal: 3 lbs per week from now until 3rd week of September.

That's 16 weeks.

48 lbs.

Eat less than WW allowed points per day- 3 less is best, 1 less is OK

Do not eat weekly points, exercise points.

30 minutes cardio daily.

Best breakfast ever??? Iced coffee with soymilk and splenda. Sweet and thick, keeps me full until one o'clock or so. Loooooovely.

He Gets Locked On

I'm bigger than I've ever been.

I'm going to give WeightWatchers another shot. Online only, of course. Hell, I already obsess about food. It's practically all I think about. Might as well obsess by tithing to a corporation (How American of me!) and spending my time keying in points values rather than stuffing my face.

You'll be seeing me around. I promise.

Also, congratulations, Jo. I've been reading even if I haven't been posting.

Drowning In The Desert

Ooomg.... lookbook.nu. I can scroll through there for hours, or at least until my eyeballs dry out from not blinking for ten minutes straight.

WHY CAN'T I BE A FASHION-FORWARD FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD WITH A THIGH GAP?!?!?!?!

Lame-o Second Post

Alright! I took care of the continuing education issue and the state board said I could email them the request for what I needed, so that takes care of the MAJOR issue of the day. I still have to wait for snail-mail to get what I need back, but that'll be okay.

I have decided that for very low-cal days eating veggies out of hand (carrots, celery, and such) is better than a salad. Why? Because I do not feel that a salad is complete without dressing but I don't need to dip veggie-snacks in anything. Salad dressing is just not worth it on restricting days.

I am going to buy the ingredients for my super-secret home cooked diet pills at the store today. Hopefully, they will help me through my 800 and (gulp) 500 days next week. The only trick is that I must take my last dose and last caffeine for the day ABSOLUTELY no later than eight full hours before I want to go to bed. Otherwise, I will be so hopped up that no amount of Benadryl will knock me out. I took it about 30 minutes ago and HOLY HELL but that shit makes me speedy. Woo-hoo! I'm not even sure I should be driving.

Two things occured to me today. Aside from family events on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I also have a party on Tuesday and an event with friends on Thursday. Both of which will involve food and/or booze. I'm not sure how to get through them while A) sticking to the calorie allowance that I have planned and B) not looking like a wierdo. No one likes to party with a dieter, it is a total party foul. Hmm. Sugar free vodka redbull? Fruit and veggie nibbles? Oh god, I have to bake stuff, too. This will be a test.

Today is going soooooooooooooooooo much better than yesterday. So far, I'm at 730, counting the chicken and rice that I'm eating right now. I thought I should have something of substance because I'm going to hit the grocery in a minute and I don't want to be psycho. Husband and I will go to the gym later, and I'll either have a yogurt or a glass of chocolate soymilk before. Finally, we're going to go see Tron tonight and I'll take some pre-measured popcorn and a clementine with me. That should put me at a nice 995 for the day. Yay!

During last night's pizza disaster, I snuck a look at my scale. In spite of how full I was at the time, things were o.k. Let's just say that the plan-following of the last week or so is taking things in the right direction. I won't try on The Coat until after New Year's, but I am optimistic about being able to wear it some time this winter.

This will probably be my last post until Monday, Husband has weekends off and I won't have any alone-time. I hope you all have wonderful weekends!